Moving In Questions

These are some of the questions you might want to ask as you prepare for a child to move in to your home.  Some are more related to older children some more to younger children.  It is good for adoptive parents to go through this list together and decided which ones are most important to you and add any questions that are pertinent to you own situation. 

Questions to ask when you prepare for a child to move in.

  • What foods don’t you like to eat?
  • What kind of toothpaste do you like? Soap?
  • What would you to be called?
  • What would you like to call me? (provide choices)
  • What are your favorite things to do?
  • What would you like to try to do that you haven’t?
  • What do you dislike doing?
  • Explain that everyone in the house has duties and ask what duties they would like to help with? Assign on the first week.
  • The child’s bedroom door-when is it okay to have the door closed?
  • Parents(s) bedroom door- rules? (i.e. always knock, wait?)
  • The importance of saving.
  • To build a relationship your plan is to…. Spell it out (shopping, dinner out, trip...)
  • You want to provide a safe home. What are you expectations for him/her? (i.e., Front door locked? Call if going to be late?)
  • Let them know everything in the house belongs to the family and that they and you are now “family.” Is there something they can’t touch? (Crystal? Things in your bathroom? Tools?)
  • How would he/she like to celebrate the holidays (sometimes lights, music, scents that can trigger the past); give them time to think about this one.
  • Rules about homework and discuss what is to be expected and when is a good time to ask for homework help. Is there a special place for them to do homework?
  • When can they have friends over (only when you are home?) Do you want to meet the kid’s parents first?
  • Visiting friends, your rules….. Spell them out.
  • Rules about using a phone- when (after dinner, school, and homework?) who would they like to call? How do you handle calls during meal times?
  • Rules about the internet and computer time, including hand held devices and video games.
  • Do they have a cell phone if they get one what are the rules surrounding it?
  • Dress code- explain what you think is appropriate for school and for weekends. When you feel their choice is not appropriate, they will be asked to change clothes and still make the school bus, etc.
  • What may frighten them: do they want a night light? Are they used to someone reading to them at bedtime? Prayers?
  • Rules about sharing if you have others in the house.
  • “I’m happy you are here, I want to help you feel safe and happy. Please let me know how I can help you feel safe here and in school.”